ONE COOL FAMILY

by **enigma** » Sun Jan 16, 2005 12:12 pm

"Remember that very little is needed to make a happy life."

by **enigma** » Sun Jan 16, 2005 12:15 pm

"Happiness, or misery, is in the mind. It is the mind that lives."

by **enigma** » Sun Jan 16, 2005 12:21 pm

There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way."

by **enigma** » Sun Jan 16, 2005 12:27 pm

"In battle, in the forest, at the precipice in the mountains, On the dark great sea, in the midst of javelins and arrows, In sleep, in confusion, in the depths of shame, The good deeds a man has done before defend him"

by HH » Sun Jan 16, 2005 2:03 pm

enigma wrote:...
"In battle, in the forest, at the precipice in the mountains, On the dark great sea, in the midst of javelins and arrows, In sleep, in confusion, in the depths of shame, The good deeds a man has done before defend him"

Thank You, "enigma"... er "enRICHma"! :wink:

... KEEP POSTING ... SPREAD ... CHEER ... COOLNESS ... AND ... COMFORT!

--------

by **Just Another Human** » Sun Jan 16, 2005 3:28 pm

Ar!e$ wrote:
Just Another Human wrote:God's VoiceMail
We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part of modern life. But have you wondered, what if God decided to install voice mail?"

Imagine praying and hearing this:

"Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.

I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now.
However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, Press 1
For Jesus, Press 2
For the Holy Spirit, Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while holding please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5, enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try area code 666.)

For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter J-O-H-N followed by 3-1-6. For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.

Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow. This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray again on Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local pastor."

dat was gr8..n CONGRATS ON becomin a COOL HYDBADI

thanks Aries. :-)

by **Just Another Human** » Sun Jan 16, 2005 3:32 pm

Prayer - Business

After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.

The Pope says, "What can I do? "The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate 10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."

The Pope replies, "I am sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." So the Colonel hangs up.

After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again.

"Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'" And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words."

So the Colonel gives up again. After two more months of terrible sales. The Colonel gets desperate. "This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican." The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."

So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."

The bishops rejoice at the news.

Then one asks about the bad news. The Pope replies,

"The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."

by **enigma** » Sun Jan 16, 2005 4:16 pm

by **enigma** » Sun Jan 16, 2005 5:38 pm

There is nothing lost or wasted in this life.

by **Ar!e$** » Sun Jan 16, 2005 6:38 pm

Just Another Human wrote:
Ar!e$ wrote:
Just Another Human wrote:God's VoiceMail
We have all learned to live with "voice mail" as a necessary part of modern life. But have you wondered, what if God decided to install voice mail?"

Imagine praying and hearing this:

"Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries.

I'm sorry, all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now.
However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, Press 1
For Jesus, Press 2
For the Holy Spirit, Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while holding please press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5, enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound key. (If you get a negative response, try area code 666.)

For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter J-O-H-N followed by 3-1-6. For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you arrive here.

Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow. This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray again on Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local pastor."

dat was gr8..n CONGRATS ON becomin a COOL HYDBADI

thanks Aries.

WELCOME

by **akhilis2cool** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 9:36 am

Good Morning Everybody

by **enigma** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 11:27 am

GOODMORNING EVERYBODY

by **enigma** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 12:10 pm

" People are like lines on paper. We all need guidelines to keep us on the right path."

by **Just Another Human** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 12:15 pm

Story No.1 (*ng Govinda)

( this one's the greatest blend of Govinda & marketing that you'll ever find?... )

The plot (!)

Govinda is a country bumpkin studying in a B-school in Bihar! His classmates include Johnny Lever and Mohnish Behl (side-villain). His Marketing professor is Kader Khan - who utters wonderful shairis like "Distribution badh nahin sakti ghar mein baithne se, Brand Equity ghat nahin sakti zamaneki sataane se..."

Flashback:

Govinda's father (Alok Nath in a guest appearance) was a Lever's (Hindustan Lever Ltd - HLL) manager who was killed by Naxalites trying to improve the distribution of Lux in rural areas! And HLL did not pay any compensation to the family, which is why Govinda's mother (Farida Jalal) has stopped using the soap!

Govinda has vowed that he will not rest till the market share of Lever's soaps in his area is 0% (remember guys, this is a Hindi film!) Anyway, on placement day (i.e., campus interview), Mohnish Behl gets HLL because he has contacts (his father - Gulshan Grover - is the oldest Levers distributor in the country!). And Govinda gets RCI!! By the way, Johnny Lever does not get Levers... he gets, say, SBCH (Smithkline Beecham Consumer Healthcare)!

Anyway, they are both sent to a vague rural area for theirs Multi Tasking stints... where Kader Khan (in a double role) is the RCI distributor and his brother Gulshan Grover is the Levers distributor (Mohnish has got his stint in his father's area... ).

Guess what, Kader Khan's daughter is Karishma Kapoor, who promptly falls in love with Govinda. She keeps accounts for her dad in the daytime and sings songs with Govinda when she is free! Song situation: "Main to primary kar raha tha, Main to secondary kar raha tha, Main to schemes chala raha tha,Tera undercut hua to main kya karoon?"

Johnny Lever has also fallen in love with the SBCH distributor's daughter (Guddi Maruti, as usual!) and Song situation: "Horlicks jo pyar karega...Woh gaana gayega... Aquafresh daaton mein pehchana jayega..."

Govinda works very hard and improves the RCI distribution greatly...and the Levers soap market share goes down steadily. Meanwhile, Mohnish has good fun with a village chhamiya (Rambha in a special appearance) - and she can even sing a song... "Luxy luxy luxy mujhe log bole..."

Ultimately, there is a huge pressure from the top for Mohnish to mend his act. And he gets to his evil ways - with assistance from his dad! They go and tamper with the RCI records to convince Kader Khan that the Reckitts ROI has fallen below 30% - AND Govinda is flirting with his daughter!

Blinded with rage, Kader Khan bounces a Reckitts cheque - and stops distribution till such time Govinda is removed from his territory! Govinda's targets go for a toss and to make matters worse, Lever is about to launch Savlon soap in the area! He is also forbidden to meet Karishma, saddened by which Karishma sings, "Ab teRO BIN jee lenge hum, zahar Mortein ka pee lenge hum..." Govinda's transfer orders are sent... and just when he is about to leave, Johnny Lever discovers the gochi in the RCI accounts and "phodoes the bhandato" Kader.

Kader Khan realises his mistake - and immediately gives a draft for the bounced cheque! And as a dowry for his daughter's wedding, he promises to match the Savlon display budget with an equal sum from his own pocket for Dettol!

The Climax:

The news of Mohnish and Gulshan's wrongdoings reach the ears ofthe Levers ASM (Kulbhushan Kharbanda). And it is also discovered that Govinda's father was not killed by Naxalites but by Gulshan's henchmen because he had refused to pass false secondary claims!

Hence, there is ahigh-voltage clash between Gulshan-Mohnish and Govinda-Kader-Johnny in which Govinda beats up the baddies with a Customer Order Book! (FMCG guys willvouch for the size and hardness of this object!)

The Happy Ending:

Alok Nath is declared to be a great TSI, and his pensionis paid. Farida Jalal starts using soap again. Mohnish is sent to the Andamans for his next stint. Gulshan is stripped off his distributor-ship. And it is given to Kader Khan. Johnny Lever marries Guddi Maruti. Govinda marries Karishma - and quits Reckitts to start his own Company (yeah, kids too) ![/u]

by **enigma** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 12:15 pm

" Sometimes things just don't work out how you expect, and those are things you just have to let happen."

by **Just Another Human** » Mon Jan 17, 2005 12:16 pm

Hope all of u will have the time and patience to read and enjoy this one...

have a good day people :-)

Just Another Human wrote:Story No.1 (*ng Govinda)
( this one's the greatest blend of Govinda & marketing that you'll ever find?... )

The plot (!)
Govinda is a country bumpkin studying in a B-school in Bihar! His classmates include Johnny Lever and Mohnish Behl (side-villain). His Marketing professor is Kader Khan - who utters wonderful shairis like "Distribution badh nahin sakti ghar mein baithne se, Brand Equity ghat nahin sakti zamaneki sataane se..."

Flashback:
Govinda's father (Alok Nath in a guest appearance) was a Lever's (Hindustan Lever Ltd - HLL) manager who was killed by Naxalites trying to improve the distribution of Lux in rural areas! And HLL did not pay any compensation to the family, which is why Govinda's mother (Farida Jalal) has stopped using the soap!

Govinda has vowed that he will not rest till the market share of Lever's soaps in his area is 0% (remember guys, this is a Hindi film!) Anyway, on placement day (i.e., campus interview), Mohnish Behl gets HLL because he has contacts (his father - Gulshan Grover - is the oldest Levers distributor in the country!). And Govinda gets RCI!! By the way, Johnny Lever does not get Levers... he gets, say, SBCH (Smithkline Beecham Consumer Healthcare)!

Anyway, they are both sent to a vague rural area for theirs Multi Tasking stints... where Kader Khan (in a double role) is the RCI distributor and his brother Gulshan Grover is the Levers distributor (Mohnish has got his stint in his father's area... ).

Guess what, Kader Khan's daughter is Karishma Kapoor, who promptly falls in love with Govinda. She keeps accounts for her dad in the daytime and sings songs with Govinda when she is free! Song situation: "Main to primary kar raha tha, Main to secondary kar raha tha, Main to schemes chala raha tha,Tera undercut hua to main kya karoon?"
Johnny Lever has also fallen in love with the SBCH distributor's daughter (Guddi Maruti, as usual!) and Song situation: "Horlicks jo pyar karega...Woh gaana gayega... Aquafresh daaton mein pehchana jayega..."

Govinda works very hard and improves the RCI distribution greatly...and the Levers soap market share goes down steadily. Meanwhile, Mohnish has good fun with a village chhamiya (Rambha in a special appearance) - and she can even sing a song... "Luxy luxy luxy mujhe log bole..."

Ultimately, there is a huge pressure from the top for Mohnish to mend his act. And he gets to his evil ways - with assistance from his dad! They go and tamper with the RCI records to convince Kader Khan that the Reckitts ROI has fallen below 30% - AND Govinda is flirting with his daughter!

Blinded with rage, Kader Khan bounces a Reckitts cheque - and stops distribution till such time Govinda is removed from his territory! Govinda's targets go for a toss and to make matters worse, Lever is about to launch Savlon soap in the area! He is also forbidden to meet Karishma, saddened by which Karishma sings, "Ab teRO BIN jee lenge hum, zahar Mortein ka pee lenge hum..." Govinda's transfer orders are sent... and just when he is about to leave, Johnny Lever discovers the gochi in the RCI accounts and "phodoes the bhandato" Kader.

Kader Khan realises his mistake - and immediately gives a draft for the bounced cheque! And as a dowry for his daughter's wedding, he promises to match the Savlon display budget with an equal sum from his own pocket for Dettol!

The Climax:
The news of Mohnish and Gulshan's wrongdoings reach the ears ofthe Levers ASM (Kulbhushan Kharbanda). And it is also discovered that Govinda's father was not killed by Naxalites but by Gulshan's henchmen because he had refused to pass false secondary claims!

Hence, there is ahigh-voltage clash between Gulshan-Mohnish and Govinda-Kader-Johnny in which Govinda beats up the baddies with a Customer Order Book! (FMCG guys willvouch for the size and hardness of this object!)

The Happy Ending:
Alok Nath is declared to be a great TSI, and his pensionis paid. Farida Jalal starts using soap again. Mohnish is sent to the Andamans for his next stint. Gulshan is stripped off his distributor-ship. And it is given to Kader Khan. Johnny Lever marries Guddi Maruti. Govinda marries Karishma - and quits Reckitts to start his own Company (yeah, kids too) ![/u]